


almost is never enough

by emilyrambles



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, But also, F/F, Happy Ending, Post-Break Up, also warnings for, basically trimberly and all the brotps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 06:31:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11285613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyrambles/pseuds/emilyrambles
Summary: the post-break up trimberly fic aka the four times the universe intervenes to get them back together again





	almost is never enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hearden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearden/gifts).



> happy birthday to @hearden aka ryan. u say u love angst so congrats here u go how does it feel now huh......... anyways its technically still ur birthday where u are so.... iM NOT LATE

_baby, we were good, we were almost perfect / i'd say it's your fault but you don't deserve it / you won't get back what we had with no one / baby, we were good, it was almost worth it / we were almost / almost, almost_ **dnce - almost**

 

_two years ago_

 

Kimberly Hart, loving Kimberly Hart, being with Kimberly Hart - is about to go supernova.

Within the study of astrophysics, in order to successfully bring about a Type II supernova, a rapid collapse and violent explosion of a large star, something called gravitational collapse must occur. This is the contraction of an object in space that, because of its own heavy gravity, tends to draw matter inward towards its centre of mass. Over time, this results in the relatively smooth distribution of matter collapsing to form pockets of condensed structures. Whilst this is considered to be a fundamental part to the composition of the universe, there's also a catch.

Once all energy sources are exhausted, the star has no choice but collapse again and again and again, until it can find a new equilibrium. _If_ it can find a new equilibrium.

In other words, gravitational collapse decides the fate of stars.

And Trini’s grasp, her once tight but now slipping hold, is the result of the gravitational collapse on their relationship, and well, she should've seen it coming.

Who says she doesn't pay attention in physics class?

They just fall apart.

And the worst part? There is no _it’s me, not you_. No drama, no sudden revelation or miscommunication.

They just… couldn't be together anymore.

(There's also meteors streaming through the atmosphere, faster and faster until it burns a little too brightly, too _hot_ , the outer shells of the rock crumbling until there's one mess left in pieces, crashing down to earth –

\- and the people on the ground gazing up at the night sky remark how _beautiful_ it looks.)

She thinks about how the gravity that holds Angel Grove, and as a by-product it's inhabitants, together is pathetically _weak_.

The universe simply decides that it isn't the right time for them. She just wishes it makes this choice _before_ she had signed her heart and soul away to the girl in pink. In reality, falling apart happens _together_.

Kimberly’s parents are getting a divorce (he cheated, she walked in on it) and she finally sees a therapist for the simple fact that her parents seem to have no shame in suggesting that their daughter’s impulses and strange actions are half to blame for their own wrongdoings, and said therapist formally diagnoses her with clinical depression, and Trini pinpoints this as the starting point of Kimberly slipping away. She's there for her, _of course_ she's there for her, like any decent person let alone a girlfriend would do, and they would've been fine. (She says, she hopes.)

But then Trini’s _abuela_ gets sick. Really sick. The kind of sick which has Trini’s mother booking last minute plane tickets to Mexico at the start of the summer and dragging her along to say a final goodbye, meaning she's apart from Kimberly for two weeks with minimal contact. There's a lot of missed FaceTime calls, lost texts, blurry and pixelated Skype chats ending after a few minutes because one of them _has_ to go be with family or someone else and the other hangs up without saying bye (and, eventually, without an _I love you_ ), and messages start to be left on read, Snapchats left opened without a reply, because even though it's only two weeks, long distance is fucking hard.

Throw in the fact you're both Power Rangers, deteriorating mental health that makes you not want to get out of bed in a morning because life isn't worth living, and the chaos of families arguing, fighting, _dying_ – long distance is fucking hard.

Her _abuela_ dies, and they fly back to Angel Grove the next day. Just like that.

But Kimberly doesn't come to see her.

It's been three days.

Then, she gets a text. She tries to ignore how her heart beats loudly in her chest when she sees the contact name, how the last message she'd received from her is dated from over a week ago.

 **Kim <3 [14:35]** _can i come over_

 **Kim <3 [14:35]** _i think we need to talk_

She knows what that means, she's pretty sure everyone in the entire fucking universe knows what that means. It's completely obvious.

For some reason, she doesn't seem as scared as she thought she'd be.

That's the first sign.

She replies with a _yes_ , sits on the edge of her bed and waits.

Thirty minutes later, even though Trini knows Kimberly can get to hers in less than ten, there's a short knock on her window pane, and she moves on autopilot to get up and open it, stepping back to allow her in, perhaps taking two more steps than she would usually do. Kimberly notices of course, but remains tactful enough not to mention it.

Instead, she awkwardly moves towards Trini’s bed but half way through doing so stops herself, then tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear and frowns, staring at the pattern on the duvet as if it suddenly becomes extremely interesting. Trini stays still, admiring the curve of her jawline and the soft hook of her nose as if it's the last ever time she'll get to do it so openly and affectionately.

(As if, if, if… it _is_.)

Something changes Kimberly’s mind, and she turns around slowly, taking her time in meeting Trini’s gaze. When she does, it's like the room goes particularly silent, the rustling of the wind in the trees outside seems to stop, the car engines revving fades away, and it's just the two thumping heartbeats and one unspoken conversation left between them.

“Hi.” Kimberly is the first one to break the silence, which is to be expected, and it's only one word – not even anything significant – but it ignites something deep within her and she feels those walls that Kimberly had so easily broke through now start to build up again, brick by brick.

“Hi. How are you?” she replies, and already her voice seems so foreign to her ears with how distant and robotic it sounds, and she fucking _hates_ it.

“Not good. But I think you know that.” Kimberly says, and the crack in her heart splinters open.

Sign two.

She nods, pressing her lips together tightly and crossing her arms, drawing them in closer to protect her body, even though she's in no physical danger. No, this isn't physical. This is purely emotional.

“Do you – do you want a drink, or something to eat, I can get…” she fumbles for something to say, just so she can fill the pregnant silence, but fades away, already knowing what Kimberly’s answer will be. She's not here for any of that, but if Trini can delay the inevitable happening by even a few seconds, it's a few more seconds she has with her. Even if they are just former ghosts of what they used to be.

Kimberly shakes her head slightly and gives her a small smile. “No I’m okay. Thank you for asking.” It's like they're just following a script until one of them gets the courage to say what needs to be said, but it's a script to Trini’s own personal horror movie and she knows she's only the side character in this. Kimberly has to be the one to do it. She simply doesn't have the strength.

“Okay.” it's all she can she whisper at this point as her throat constricts and closes up, and it takes three more hard swallows before she feels even a little bit normal again.

Kimberly watches her cautiously as she does, and waits ten more seconds before uttering, “I wish it didn't have to be this way.”

Sign three – strike three and she's out. There's no more bases to steal, no more home runs to hit. She's done. They're done.

The universe says so.

“I don't think we have a choice at this point.” she laughs but it's weak, and there's a part of her that feels slightly delirious that this is going to happen to her on a regular Sunday afternoon, with her family downstairs continuing their day as if the world isn't about to end, with Jason and Billy and Zack waiting for them to show up to training in the evening as if she doesn't feel like getting in her zord and running off the quarry cliff.

“If – if we, if _this_ ,” Kimberly motions between them with a shaking hand and she sounds so uncharacteristically unsteady Trini almost wants to scream at them to stop and they can hug and never let go but she's still speaking and it's another opportunity Trini misses because she's a coward, “happened a few months earlier than it did, if we had stopped fucking around and dancing around our feelings for _months_ and I told you I love you earlier than I did, then maybe we wouldn't be doing this right now. But I don't think we're strong enough to get through this. It's too much. Everything is happening too much too fast and we can't cope. I can't cope.”

She feels this horrible sickening warmth diffuse across her chest, and straight down to her fingertips, where it tingles like fireworks underneath her skin, except instead of the thrumming pure electricity that she’d feel before, when she still _had_ her, this time it’s a dull ache spreading like a plague in her blood. The difference is staggering. She thinks this is what it feels like to experience real heartbreak. It’s not always a loud crack, accompanied by the yelling and screaming and crying, watching as you burn everything you love to the ground. No. No, there’s a different kind of heartbreak.

Looking at Kimberly start to sob in front of her, her face crumpling and lip trembling with raw emotion, but her eyes resigned and vacant and so so sad, Trini realises their heartbreak happened a long time ago.

They’re only now just becoming enlightened to it.

Hot tears prick at the corners of her eyes, and she knows Kimberly wouldn’t care if she cries (what kind of girl doesn’t cry at their relationship ending after all) but she feels so empty, so hollow inside, that she can’t force the tears to fall, so they just gather in her eyes, making her whole world blurry.

Kimberly used to be her whole world.

Well, she still is. It’s just a little bit hazier.

She hastily wipes her eyes with the corner of her sleeve and swallows hard, but it does nothing to dislodge the thousands of words she needs to say still stuck in her throat. The heavy silence stretches between them, and the air is suffocating, but Trini remains mute. It was never her place to say it, she knows. This is something the other girl has to do, because she doesn’t have the courage, and Kimberly is so much stronger than her. She always has been and she always will be.

“So I guess this is it.” Kimberly whispers, and just like that the world, _her_ world, ends with six simple words.

“Yeah. We’re done.”

And there it is.

She never pictured it this way. One night, months ago, whilst she slept next to the girl she loves, she had a dream - not a nightmare, because dreams are meant to come true if you wish hard enough and its unfolding right now in front of her eyes so that means it was a dream, but she never _wished_ for _this_ – and in it, Kimberly had sneered and laughed and told her she never loved her, that she meant nothing, she was worth nothing, that her existence was so worth nothing it was better if she was never alive. In that dream, their break-up had been loud and angry and bitter, one that made her sick to her stomach, so sick she couldn’t stand for the pain erupting from her chest, her heart, cracking into pieces like Kimberly had taken a hammer to it.

This is soft, though.

This isn’t like her dream break-up at all.

This is like Kimberly had threaded love with a needle through her heart and decided to cut the strand.

She senses it, the broken strings in her chest, hanging there helplessly. Trini knows she won’t ever be able to completely uproot them. Kimberly is buried far too deep inside of her heart to be able to do that.

Kimberly chokes back one final sob, too exhausted to continue crying, and even though they’re standing only metres apart, Trini knows the space between them has never been bigger. It’s like a chasm, and she briefly wonders what it would take for Kimberly to drag them both back into it with an _I’m sorry_ and a tug on her shirt.

It’s like every part of her being is reacting to what’s happening. Goosebumps cover her arms and the back of her neck, the world outside suddenly seems to come crashing back into the room; the wind screams at the trees, the car horns blare, the clatter of her family in the kitchen are familiar sounds, but none of them provide her any comfort now.

She’ll never be comfortable after this.

Kimberly sniffles and wipes away the tears streaking down her cheeks quickly with the knuckle of her thumb, and she opens her mouth as if to say something but there's really nothing else that can be said at this point. A final verbal goodbye seems futile.

So instead she watches Kimberly inhale sharply and move towards the window.

She watches as Kimberly leaves.

She wonders if this is what it feels like to die.

 

 

_present day_

 

 

1 //

 

She's only in town for a few hours. That's what she tells herself anyway. It makes the thought of leaving again a little less painful, and it makes the chances of accidentally bumping into… anyone slimmer than if she stays.

Her mom had called her two days ago asking if she could help with their move, clearing out her bedroom and sorting out what she wants to keep and what she'll leave for her parents to trash. She practically lives at her college now anyway, and she's sure in their new house closer to Angel Grove’s outskirts she won't get a bedroom. Her parents would say they lost touch as soon as she had moved into her flat on her university campus and disappeared from their lives, but Trini places it the moment she received her acceptance letter. Once the universe had gifted her a way out, freedom in a way she's never experienced before, she wasn't going to let anyone, especially her parents, stop her.

Except Zordon.

There was one condition for her leaving, one condition all five of them had to obey. And it wasn't a question if they would do it or not, but a command. They had to either stay in Angel Grove, or go to a college within an hour’s radius.

Just in case, Zordon had said. Just in case Rita came back, or the threats she'd spoke of made an appearance.

It's been two years, and the biggest thing to happen to Angel Grove is the opening of a new Krispy Kreme.

She arrives at her old house an hour earlier than expected, and her parents are out picking up more moving boxes from a neighbour, and so she lifts up the doormat and finds the spare key, slotting it into the lock and pushing the door open. Everything is empty, all of the rooms packed up into what seems like a hundred medium-sized boxes stacked in the hallway and the kitchen. She hovers briefly at the bottom of the staircase before taking in a sharp breath and slinking up the stairs she's not walked up for almost two years. The door to her old bedroom is ajar, and she pushes it open with a slight creak.

The discoloured walls are the first thing she notices, the sun-worn paint as a result from a permanently open blind and a lack of cleaning, a lack of human touch, and it only highlights the cracked plaster and messy coats of paint she'd splattered on after Rita’s attack. Dust inches thick has settled on the top of her desk and bed, which looks exactly how she left it the day she had moved out. Her mother had clearly not even attempted to enter her room to clean it or pack up things herself, and a lump forms in Trini’s throat. It's what she should expect. Since when has she ever had a mother’s touch?

The room has other memories though. Almost as if she's watching through a lens they come flooding back to her, smothering all of her senses and she stumbles back, until her shoulder hits the door and it slams shut with a resounding _bang_ -

_\- a girl with a gorgeous smile and a pink hairband tied around her wrist, always pink, laughs happily and pulls the other girl with braids in her hair on top of her, and they fumble onto the bed. There's no duvet to soften their fall; it remains on the floor as a reminder of the previous night’s activities but neither of the girls’ care. They're too busy kissing, grasping at clothes and tugging their bodies closer together, hands roaming up and down sides and threading through messy hair. The girl in pink breaks the kiss to smile and whisper something with a soft bite on her lip and the other girl blushes and wonders how she manages to keep breathing when there's this miracle underneath her hands, but then the girl is kissing her again and again and she knows this is what it feels like to be in love –_

“Trini is that you?” her mother yells her name and it's like she's been doused in icy cold water and she gasps, her hand finding the doorknob and she squeezes it so hard it almost crumbles in her hand, and she needs to stop, she needs to get her out of her head. This is a mistake. She loosens her grip and takes a step away from the door just in time as her mom pushes it open, and she meets her gaze, seeing her own mother in person for the first time in over a year.

Huh. She feels nothing.

“June! Is that Trini?” her father’s voice calls up the stairs and she still feels nothing because he abandoned her too, he let them lose contact just as much as her mother did. June huffs and Trini realises she's looking at her appearance, the yellow flannel that hangs loose around her hips, the black skinny jeans and a beanie that sits on top of her head even in the Angel Grove summer heat and she curls her lip. So much for remaining civil.

“No this is a robbery. Hands up.” She says sarcastically and she gets a rush as her mother scowls in disapproval. She may technically be a legal adult now, twenty years old, but there's still nothing as good as acting like a teenager again and pissing off her mom. Her father seems preoccupied with the shouts of her brothers running into the house and crashing into boxes, and her heart does twinge sadly at that because she does miss them. They were too young to understand the politics of the Gomez household when she left, and she hopes they haven't inherited too much of her mother’s prejudice.

“I left the stuff in your desk and under your bed. Whatever you didn't take with you when you left, it's still here.” June says and tosses her a key, which she catches with lightning reflexes. “Lock up when you're done, hide the key back under the mat. We're going out.”

And just like that, her mother turns away and yells in rapid Spanish at her brothers to get them back outside and into the car, and her father drops off the last empty box for them to pack with later, then as he sees her hovering in the doorway and on the landing, he waves sheepishly at her from the bottom of the staircase. She gives him a small smile and he breaks into a grin, relief etched all over his face.

“Patrick! Let’s go.” June calls and her father straightens up, giving her one last look and follows them out of the house, pulling the door shut with a soft click of the lock behind him.

She sighs. This is going to take forever.

Four black bin bags full of rubbish and two small cardboard boxes of memories and important items later, she's done. Thank Zordon for her powers because if she had to do this as a normal human she would've been there for days moaning and complaining, but the room is almost empty now. Except for one thing.

Her keepsake box.

For _her_.

She stares at it for a long time, building up the courage to even touch it. It's about the size of a shoebox, but its contents are loaded with too much history and heartbreak and without thinking about it she shuts her eyes, snatches it from the depths of her wardrobe and shoves it into one of the cardboard boxes, chucking her flannel over the top. Pretending that if the thin material can cover the shape that it doesn't even exist.

(She's not even going to mention how the thought of putting it in one of the black bags doesn’t even occur to her.)

The sight of the house starts to make her feel nauseated and so she stacks up the two boxes and takes them downstairs, leaving the rubbish bags in her room as one last big _fuck you_ to her mother to clean up. She locks the house up just as she was told, leaving the key under the mat for the last ever time, but she feels as empty as when she got here. This house means nothing to her anymore. All it has is bad memories of her family, and other good memories now stained bad.  As she slides into the front seat of her car, the boxes safely secured in her trunk, she debates just turning straight onto the freeway and hightailing it back to her flat, but what's a visit to Angel Grove without grabbing a Krispy Kreme first on her way out?

She parks her car down a side street close to the row of little shops and cafés near the town centre, and walks the rest of the way, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. The bell above the door tinkles when she opens it, and there's only an old couple sitting in the corner, sipping a coffee and in deep conversation. She orders a strawberry donut and grabs a bottle of water for the journey back, then takes her order and slides into the seat near the front window, giving her the prime opportunity to people-watch.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she slides it out, staring at the message on the lock screen long enough for it to go dark again. Her heart pounds a bit faster and so she counts to ten and then presses the home button to open the message before she loses the courage to reply.

 **Amber [13:12]** _hey babe wanna come over tonight? if you get what im sayin ;)_

Her fingers hover over typing out no, then yes, then no again, because she’s so indecisive about this girl she met in a club three weeks ago, and they'd sort of being doing the whole friends with benefits thing for the past few days but if she's being honest with herself her heart isn't in it. Her heart is never really in it. Always, without fail, she's the one to break it off because she's a firm believer in never stringing a girl along, but there's just maybe something different about this one this time. Maybe. She can hope, there's always hope. But she's still staring at the message with a dry throat and a guilty heart. Shaking her head, she locks the screen again and places it on the table, vowing to make up her mind and reply as soon as she's finished in here.

She's only half way through the donut when she has the sudden urge to look up in the direction of the corner boutique across the street, which sells an assortment of antiques and baby clothes and homeware, a place she'd dread being dragged to with her mother when she was younger. She’s momentarily blinded by the sunlight reflecting off the glass in the door as it opens and a man she can only really describe in the cliché terms of tall dark and handsome holds it open with his hand, letting a woman slightly smaller than him through, clutching a shopping bag and –

She drops her donut.

It hits the side of the table and bounces onto the floor, and the man behind the till gives her an annoyed glare, but she doesn't even notice. No, no she's too busy staring at the woman who looks strikingly similar –

 _No_.

No.

Don't even think about it.

_It's not her._

But it is her, and Trini’s hand automatically grips the table, her fingernails digging into the wood until it begins to splinter and her jaw clenches hard as the woman removes her sunglasses – Chanel sunglasses, her brain naturally corrects the omission – and _it is her_. It's Kimberly.

Holy shit she looks _good_.

The summer sun seems to have soaked right into her skin giving it an even darker bronze glow all over, the smile plastered on her face is almost as blinding as the light reflecting from the buildings, and her hair is wind-swept and wild but still looks to be the same length as it was two years ago and that particular observation gives Trini a thrill she can't explain, but it's probably something to do with the memory of running her hands through it and tugging hard as Kimberly disappeared under sheets…

No.

Stop.

But she can't stop, because she’s transfixed on watching the graceful way Kimberly moves, how she moves her arms up, biceps flexing, to rest the sunglasses on the top of her head, and the guy that holds the door open isn't just a kind stranger but he seems to be _with_ Kimberly as he steps up close to her and offers to take the shopping bag from her. Kimberly flashes him a dazzling smile and Trini is almost knocked off her chair from across the street because her heart threatens to burst for a multitude of reasons, and she has so many _questions_.

Is she okay? Does she still see a therapist, and is she doing any better? How's her college experience going? How often does she keep in touch with the other three boys? Is that guy her friend, or boyfriend, or even something more?

Her brain doesn't even want to ascertain the answer to that last question, and she's pretty sure she'd end up crying or something if he is, but that's just fucking ridiculous because it's been two fucking years and she's over her.

She's over her.

She is.

And then Kimberly laughs, crinkling her eyes and playfully shoving the guy and it's like a straight punch to the gut and she chokes on the remaining mouthful of donut. She reaches for the bottle of water and cracks the lid open, taking quick successive gulps until she's almost drank half the bottle. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and she thinks for one crazy moment what would happen if she was to abandon all of her stuff, run across the road and leap into Kimberly’s arms like nothing has changed, like nothing bad has ever happened between them.

Would she take her back? Or would she push her away in disgust?

She never finds out, because the universe decides to intervene.

The split second her phone vibrates again with a message from the girl, Kimberly leans in towards the guy and kisses his cheek, pulling back and smiling brightly as he wraps a strong arm around her shoulders.

Trini finally looks away.

 

 **Amber [13:14]** _???_

 **Trini [13:14]** _I’ll be over later_

 

 

2 //

 

She comes back for Billy’s birthday party.

How could she not?

She’s in line for shit coffee at the local café nearest to her because fuck it if she's going to trudge an extra ten minutes for a Starbucks when she has a nap scheduled and work to procrastinate back at her flat, when her phone rings. The old woman with what seems like an even older leather purse clutched in her vulture hands tuts loudly behind her as it vibrates and Trini rolls her eyes directly in front of her, but immediately steps out of the queue as soon as she notices the Caller ID.

“Zack?”

“Crazy girl! I miss your face, how's it going?” he practically screams down the phone, and she turns the volume down a few notches. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

“I’m good. How can I help?”

“Jeez no need to sound so formal. Who are you, my bank manager?” Zack laughs loudly and she feels the beginning of a headache form behind her eyes, so she mutters an apology to the person just entering the café as she pushes past him, gasping for some fresh air. She leans up against the wall outside, pinching the bridge of her nose and sighs.

“What do you want asshole?” she grumbles but Zack just laughs again, and despite everything, she finds herself beginning to smile too. God. She misses him.

“That's more like it! Anyways I was just ringing to see what you're doing this weekend.” he says casually and notably softer this time, and her curiosity peaks.

“I’m busy.” she starts bluntly and almost cracks up when she hears his disappointed _oh_ through the receiver. “Yeah I’m doing some bodyguard work for Beyoncé and then I'm off on a cruise with Barack Obama-”

“Ha.. ha… very funny.” Zack says, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and she smirks.

“Nah I'm free, why?”

“Come back to Angel Grove.” he blurts out and she almost drops her phone onto the concrete if it isn't for her Ranger reflexes, and she subtly glances around her to check if anyone had noticed. Once she decides she's in the clear, she holds her hand over the phone and pulls the receiver closer to her mouth.

“ _No_.”

“But-”

“No, Zack.”

“But it’s for Billy’s birthday. He’s having a party.”

The headache is back again, this time she can actually feel the pounding in her temples and she shuts her eyes for a few seconds. "Billy doesn't have parties.”

“That's why you have to come!” he says exasperatedly as if he's explaining something to a small child. “It's a once in the lifetime opportunity!”

“No.”

“Billy misses you. He wants you there.”

“I… no.” he almost gets her with that one, and she knows he's trying the hard sell now to convince her to go.

“I miss you. I want you there.”

“Hard pass.”

“Kim won't be there.”

And there it is. His final card. Just hearing her name said by him feels like he's just ripped a bandaid straight off her body without any warning and her thoughts immediately begin to drift to earlier that summer when she saw her outside that shop, with that guy, and maybe that's why she can't come to Billy’s birthday party and the idea of it makes her sick to her stomach. She fights the nausea and the headache at the same time, begging them to both disappear so she can concentrate on getting Kimberly out of her head, and she's silent for so long Zack says her name tentatively four times before she hears him properly.

“Do I have to bring a present?” she finally mutters in acceptance of his invite, because fuck it if she's going to let Kimberly’s new _boyfriend_ ruin the chance to see her boys again. Besides she's not even making an appearance herself, for whatever fucked up reason. Zack lets out a loud whoop and she winces.

“Yes! I'm going to get you so wasted, crazy girl. I've missed my drinking partner. Jason is good but he's got nothing on you…” he's super excited now, even more so than at the beginning of the phone call and every day she wonders how it's physically possible he's like this. She tunes out the rest of his rambling about alcohol and present ideas (she does interrupt to put a clear stop to his idea of driving up to get her) and he even offers to let her stay at his, but she politely lets him down easy.

“I'll ask Jason. I wouldn't want to impose on you and your mom. How is she by the way?” she distracts his protests with a question she knows he can't resist and he launches into a complete run down of the past three weeks, which is since the last time they'd talked over the phone.

She does try keep up with them, especially Zack, but it's hard.

The university she's studying at now isn’t actually her first choice. It's her third, which she only just managed to squeeze into on a scholarship, because, well – her first choice belonged to someone else. So she'd transferred colleges at the last second, deciding to go to this one instead of the first, which is where Billy is studying everything he can get his hands on, practically majoring in the entire STEM field, and… it's also where Kimberly is perfecting her talent for creative writing. The other two still live in Angel Grove. Jason works for his dad, and she knows it must kill him not to be able to leave, to have his future fixed on a straight narrow road, but she also knows it'd hurt him even more being away from Zordon and the ship for so long. Zack had stayed home to become a full time carer for his mom, finding work in a mechanic’s shop, and with Jason’s dad on the side to gain extra income to pay for her meds and hospital bills, but it's always never enough. The four of them send money whenever they can. Despite everything that happened, Trini isn't going to let that destroy the remainder of whatever she has with her best friend. Zack is still the only one who talks to her on a regular basis.

In the beginning, Billy tried, he really did. But there’s only so much stress he could take and it was Trini who moved the furthest away, so by default Billy was on Kimberly’s side, and Trini couldn’t let him flounder between the two of them anymore. She had subtly suggested to Billy they exchange emails occasionally instead of forcing texts. He had rapidly agreed, and now on the first Monday of every month, she refreshes her mail app to find a three-page update on Billy’s life. Something interesting rarely happens to him, but once he starts on a tangent about his latest invention, or how Jason held his hand during a scary movie, there’s really no stopping him. Trini finds it endearing for the most part, but there’s still a glaringly obvious omission from his writing. It’s like her name is fucking blacklisted.

Jason is a different story. She shouldn’t have really been surprised that he took her side, even though he insisted he was neutral. Soon after their break-up she knows Jason had taken it upon himself to cheer Kimberly up, showing up at her house early in the mornings and ensuring she got out of bed and showered semi-regularly, made sure she took her meds definitely regularly, keeping her well fed and distracted for the most part as she nursed her heartbreak, dragging her out to different parties and making sure she spent the summer before college living her life as she was meant to. Trini had retreated into herself of course, and abandoned everything until one time, a week after it had happened, Zack had broken into her room, practically kidnapped her and let her sleep in his bed for days by his side.

The boys were there for them when they most needed it, and she’ll be forever grateful for as long as she lives, because she's certain both of them would've slipped past the point of no return if they hadn't.

So of course she's going to Billy’s party.

Fuck it.

That's how she ends up parked outside Jason’s house, nervously fumbling with the zipper on her favourite golden bomber jacket, staring at the flashing lights and loud music emanating from the large front room. Zack gives her the heads up that the dress code is completely casual _thank god_ and there's going to be about forty people; a mix of Billy’s favourite classmates, Jason and Zack’s work colleagues, and some people from their high school that kept in touch over time. And most importantly, no Kimberly.

She lets out a long groan and steps out her car, almost forgetting to grab the plastic bag on the passenger’s seat, locking it and making her way up the drive. The front door is propped open with a beer keg and she walks into the main room, but before she can even make it a few meters in, Zack hollers at the top of his voice and leaps over two people sat having a conversation on the floor, and slams into her, hugging her so tightly her face ends up squished uncomfortably into his chest. She yells his name twice to get him to stop, and he pulls back, hands gripping her arms and grins at her.

“Have you gotten shorter?” he laughs and hooks his elbow around her neck, rubbing the top of her head with his other hand, tousling her hair.

“Fuck off.” she replies instantly, shoving him away again, but there's no malice in her voice, instead she smiles widely back at him and _god_ it's amazing how at ease he can make her feel.

“I miss you, like all the time.” His voice wobbles with emotion, and she can tell he's clearly drunk but the statement still makes her heart clench and its moments like this that make her regret leaving, and she can't help but picture the life she could've had by Zack’s side.

“Me too. Bros till the end right?” she smirks and uses the phrase he'd been pushing on her for the better part of a year now, and his mouth drops open in a comical ‘O’.

“Duuuude.” he raises a beer can that Trini swears wasn't in his hand seconds ago, then he seems to panic as he realises she's not got her own, but she holds a finger up to stop him freaking out, reaches into the plastic bag and pulls out a bottle of her favourite beer and he sighs dramatically, holding the back of his free hand to his forehead in relief.

Trini’s hand also hits the present and she's quickly reminded of why she's even there in the first place, and it's not to get drunk with her best friend. “Where's Billy?”

Zack stumbles against the wall but regains his composure just in time to grab Trini’s hand and drag her into the kitchen, where she immediately spots Billy leaning against a counter top and explaining something to a small group of people, his hands gesticulating wildly and she gets another pang of missing home. This is her home; these boys are her home. Billy fumbles to find the next right word as his brain seems too fast for his mouth to keep up with, and so Trini decides to help him out.

“A supernova right?” Trini says the answer to his problem and Billy raises his head at her voice, then a look of pure radiant happiness spills across his face and he pushes past his friends, apologising profusely to anyone he bumps into as he makes his way through the kitchen. Zack, however, curses at the top of his voice to whoever dares block his path towards the shot table and Trini rolls her eyes. Idiot.

“It's Trini! Hey look everyone it's Trini! You came.” He beams delightedly at her and she nods, too overcome with emotion to speak out loud. Instead, she hands him the present and he takes it from her. She grimaces at how poorly wrapped it is, but he doesn't seem to mind as he unwraps it slowly, taking his time so he doesn't damage whatever is inside. However, once his eyes see the gift, his hands begin to shake with excitement and he whips his head up to look at her.

“It's apparently one of the first ever printed editions. I found it in a second-hand bookshop near my flat, and-” she doesn't get to finish her sentence as Billy brings her in for a brief hug, then clears his throat and steps back, gazing back down at the book in his hand.

“Thank you, Trini. It's one of my favourites.” he says quietly so her ears have to strain over the sound of the music and the hum of people talking, but she picks up on how much the present does mean to him, and she lets out a breath of relief she doesn't know she's even holding.

“I know, Billy. I'm happy you're happy.” she replies and Billy stares at her for what seems to be a long time before Zack comes crashing back into her side, holding a shot glass and passing it to her. Billy frowns at them both, but Trini swears they'll be safe and pace themselves as she's being pulled away, and Billy nods satisfied with her promise, then makes his way back to his other friends to show off his new gift.

She's barely had her third shot however, before she hears another familiar voice approach her from behind.

“Thought you could crash a party in my own home and steal my alcohol without saying hi huh?”

She spins around and Jason stands in the centre of the room, looking as dependable and solid and proud as ever, and she rushes to him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest, and he wraps his arms around her immediately in response, gripping her tightly as if he's never going to let her go, but he does eventually and she mumbles a greeting, a blush spreading across her cheeks. He only smiles broadly at her, however, deciding to brush over her open display of affection, but she's still ready to defend herself and state it's only because she's not seen him in a long time and she'd missed his dopey ass but he's already moving her back to the shot table, handing her over to Zack, who is too preoccupied chatting up a girl to notice she'd even gone. Jason kisses the top of her head and mutters an apology but as the host of the party he has to constantly check on everyone, and he promises he’ll be back to have a proper talk with her later. She almost asks him to stay, but that's just selfish of her and tonight is definitely not about that.

And then she hears a girl laugh, and all notions about not being selfish fly out of the window.

Because that's definitely Kimberly’s laugh, she'd know that giggle anywhere. It's coming from the back room, and so she still has some time to decide what to do before bolting completely, and as Zack whines loudly as the girl he's been talking to walks away without giving him her number, she feels a rush of hot anger towards him and she grabs him by his ear. He squeaks and yells at her to stop, but she continues dragging him until she gets to a quieter corner of the room and releases her hold, only to smack him hard in the arm.

“Tree, what the fuck?” he moans, clutching his bicep and giving her sad puppy eyes.

“You said she wasn't going to be here.” she growls, and the panic of possibly coming face to face with her, _talking_ to her, grips her and she struggles to remain angry at Zack, because when she thinks of Kimberly she becomes angry at _herself_. Zack, however, becomes panicked for a different reason and stumbles backwards, trying to escape but she blocks his way out and narrows her eyes. “Start talking Taylor, _now_. If you value your balls.”

He raises his hands in surrender and winces at the memory of Trini’s fighting style in the pit and what she could do to his balls if she really wanted to hurt him. “Okay okay! I knew you wouldn't come if she was here, and I really missed you and so did Billy and Jason, soooo I told a little white lie, no harm done-”

She pinches his ear again and he yells loudly, and she ignores the concerned stares from other people. “A _lot_ of harm done, asshole.”

“Are you quite _done_?” Zack shrugs her off him, and rubs his ear, sulking in the corner. “Just suck it up and go talk to her. What's the worst that could happen?”

Trini resists hurting him again, because even though she's mad at him for lying about this, he's still her best friend and she knows his intentions are well placed. _Come on, you can do this_. It's just Kimberly. It's just the girl you've been in love with for almost four years now. It's just the girl who broke your heart as bad as you broke hers. It's just the girl you've spent every second thinking about since it happened. No big deal.

Big fucking deal.

She grabs two shots from the hands of a passing ex-classmate, chucks her head back and downs them both in seconds, and waits for the alcohol to flood her system to give her a final buzz before she walks into the back room, counting her steps as she does to stop herself from turning right back around again.

Trini senses her the moment she walks through the door.

The room is full of the stereotypical frat types; a game of beer pong is in full swing in the corner and two dudebros seem to be having a heated debate over the physics of it, but the other crowd is gathered in the centre, enthralled by the speaker telling a story in the middle of it.

Kimberly.

Of course everyone in the room is drawn to her, Trini included, but she stays hugging the side of the wall so she's out of view from being spotted, because she's seriously about three seconds away from either passing out or punching something, and neither seems like the right option.

The crowd laughs loudly at something she says, and Trini is now close enough to hear her voice, see her in person, for the first proper time since she'd officially abandoned them all, and the sight of her knocks the breath right out of her chest.

She's wearing a tight leather jacket over a black tank top, her signature pink sports bra and choker on show over her collarbones; the black skinny jeans especially make Trini’s mouth go dry. Were her legs always that long? _Has_ she shrunk?

She silently curses. _Get out of my head, Zack._

It takes practically milliseconds for that to happen, because Kimberly finishes her story with a wink and a carefree laugh, and Trini’s heartbeat races. God, she’s so gorgeous. A boy close to Kimberly’s left holds a red paper cup up towards her and she flashes him a flirty smile, accepting the drink and ruffling his hair with her other hand. He almost drops to his knees and he looks how Trini feels, because that used to be her. Except she'd get all of Kimberly’s attention, every hour of every day, and it's what she _lived_ for. It's what she'd die for. What she'd die to get again. The boy asks her to tell the story one more time, and Kimberly shrugs, pretending to debate it for a few seconds, but Trini knows what that expression means and the boys are being messed with. She would feel sorry for them but she couldn't care less about some guys she doesn't even know when her girl… ex-girlfriend is standing there, playing absentmindedly with her hands. Trini takes a risk and steps even closer, and watches as Kimberly twists around a ring on her middle finger, but with a jolt Trini recognises its silver pattern from a Valentine’s Day three years ago and suddenly the vodka shots she'd inhaled before coming into the room churn in her stomach and her pulse electrifies.

But nothing prepares her for what happens next.

Kimberly suddenly glances up as if the devil whispers in her ear that she’s standing there, and Trini’s sure it’s the universe fucking with her again, because Kimberly meets her gaze and the entire world stops. She’s no longer a heartbroken twenty-year old girl, but she’s back to being younger, younger and scared beyond belief, experiencing a crush and then infatuation and love and being in love and loving so hard with every fibre of her being, loving Kimberly became as simple as breathing. She’s _terrified_.

But so is Kimberly. She can tell that much.

The other girl stops speaking, her speech running dry and the boys around her glance at each other in confusion, and Kimberly begins to push her way through the crowd, much to their protests. She doesn’t break eye contact the whole way, and Trini’s feet are frozen to the spot, her whole body feels numb. This can’t be happening.

“Excuse me – excuse, I need to get- excuse me…” Kimberly smoothly dodges a drunk girl spilling her drink as she passes and she’s _there_ , she’s standing right in front of her and Trini can’t breathe.

“Hi.” Kimberly says, a little nervously, but she’s doing a lot better than Trini.

She licks her lip anxiously. It’s such an involuntary reaction but it’s enough for Kimberly to pause what she’s about to say and glance down at her lips and _oh fuck_.

“Kim. I – this was a mistake-” she fumbles with something to say and it’s clearly the wrong thing because Kimberly’s expression turns hard and guarded and it’s like their hearts are breaking for a second time, the memories of their break-up still fresh and raw like a wound that just won’t heal, no matter how hard they try. But neither of them make the first move to leave.

“Hey! It’s my favourite people!” Billy appears from nowhere like heaven sent him itself and stands next to them. Trini takes the opportunity to look away from Kimberly and at him instead, giving him the biggest smile she can muster because he’s just saved her from probably what would have been mortal embarrassment. “Not to say that I don’t have other favourite people too. Jason, and Zack as well… oh and my mom!”

“That’s okay Billy we understood what you were saying.” Trini clarifies to him and he nods, and Kimberly shifts restlessly on her feet. She knows Kimberly too well to realise there was something important she was about to say before Billy interrupted them, and whether that would've changed anything between them remains up in the air. He keeps rambling about having the gang back together and how happy he is that she's here but she's not even listening because Kimberly keeps sneaking side glances at her. It's like they're back to being messy teenagers with their stupid crushes, stealing each other's attention, playing on the feelings without actually acknowledging them. Except doing this now is dangerous. Exhilarating, but dangerous.

That's why she has to go.

She stops Billy in his tracks by clearing her throat loudly, and Kimberly gives up on being subtle completely and just stares openly at her, slightly in awe and something _else_ she can't quite place, but it's strange to say the least. She's not sure whether she likes it or not. “Hey, I should get going. It's getting really late and I can't stay so…” she indicates to nowhere in particular behind her but she hopes it's in the direction of the entrance. Trini denotes to mention she's not actually asked Jason whether she could stop at his, like she'd told Zack she would do.

“No! Please don't go. You can sleep on my couch I promise my mom won't mind. She likes you!” Billy exclaims and claps his hands together, begging her to stay. Kimberly remains uncharacteristically quiet, but Trini can understand why. It's not her place to offer, not anymore.

“Billy…” she's ran out of excuses and she's ran out of time, but he keeps on looking at her expecting an outright answer and she almost, _almost_ says no but then Kimberly touches her arm and even through the material of her jacket it feels like her skin is on fire and she gasps softly, staring up at her through thick eyelashes and mouth slightly open.

Kimberly swallows hard. Keeps the silence for a few more seconds. Then,“Stay.”

With one word, everything changes. Her body actually sways closer to lean into Kimberly’s touch, her heart pounding and head spinning. _Stay_. Both of them seem to be in a stasis of shock at the word, of its implications and how the last time Kimberly had told her that was when they were still together, still in love, and this time it's Trini that looks down at her lips and –

_“Stay.” the girl begs and rolls over in the bed, letting the sheet slip from covering her naked body, and her girlfriend sits up, pulling a shirt over her head and tries to ignore how the girl arches her back, accentuating her body and pushing her breasts forward. The other girl’s mouth goes dry but she manages to tear her gaze away and yank on some underwear. The girl frowns and moves her head a fraction, until it rests up against the other girl’s leg. She presses a soft kiss to her thigh and sighs contentedly. Her girlfriend pushes her hair from her eyes, then traces patterns down her bare back with her finger and then all the way back up again. “Stay.” A pause. Another kiss. A sigh, and then two bodies disappear under sheets with giggles and promises of staying another hour, another day. A lifetime._

\- she snaps her gaze away and stares at her shoes. Kimberly drops her touch, crossing her arms tightly as if it's the only way to stop her impulses to touch her again.

“Are you?” Billy says and it takes her a moment to come back to herself, shake the memories from her mind if only for a little while longer, until they'll inevitably return and this time it's fucking _dangerous_ because she's looking at Kimberly, she's standing next to Kimberly, she's touching her, she's talking to her. The memories become more real this way, more vivid in her head, and her heart aches to relive them again. Trini wonders if Kimberly feels the same. “Are you staying?”

Another stolen glance.

“Yeah. Yes I'll stay.”

So she stays. She's never really been able to say no to her.

“Crazy girl! There you are! Wondered where you'd disappeared off to… oh fuck hi Kim.” Zack yells and stumbles between Trini and Billy, suddenly noticing the presence of the pink ranger too.

Kimberly raises her eyebrow. “Hi Zack. How's it going?”

Zack leans an elbow on Trini’s shoulder and nods three times. “Oh you know… the usual.”

“Right.” Kimberly grins and gives Trini a look as if to highlight how much he’s being an idiot and it's a look they used to share thousands of times. Trini returns it, though, which draws a small smile from Kimberly, and she can almost picture everything being back to normal. Almost.

“You know what I think this little gathering of yours is missing Kimmy?” Zack grins and Trini glares at him but he doesn't notice, or if he does he chooses to ignore her and focus on Kimberly.

“Jason?” Billy pipes up and Zack almost tells him no before he realises, well technically he's _not_ wrong.

“Er… yes, but that's not what I was gonna say. I think you need to join the drinking game currently going off in the front room. Let’s goooo!” Zack grasps her hand and Kimberly’s, dragging them into the other room before she has the chance to protest, then he's shoving her to the ground into an open space, and there's a beer bottle being pushed into her hand and Kimberly looks as perplexed as her as she takes the only other empty space opposite her. Zack sits down in what she assumes was his previous spot and claps his hands together, getting the occupants of the circle’s attention.

“Two new members, no one goes easy on them okay? Okay.” Zack grins and oh god she's in so much trouble. “My turn! Never have I ever walked in on my parents, you know, doing it.”

“God you’re so gross.” Kimberly mutters but takes a sip from her cup. Luckily Trini has never had to experience that so she doesn't drink but now she knows what game she's playing, she's _definitely_ screwed.

The questions are passed around the circle clockwise from Zack, and Trini only takes one sip of her drink for a question about jumping off a cliff before the responsibility drops in her lap and she rattles her brain to come up with something, but then Kimberly is trying to catch her gaze and she rolls her eyes towards Zack. _Get him to drink_.

She smirks. “Never have I ever been rejected by four girls in one night.”

Zack gives her a look of pure disgust, and tries to take a drink as quietly as he can but a girl sat next to him stifles a laugh and he clenches his teeth. Wait. Calling out Zack like that is probably the worst thing she could've done, because he has so many wild secrets on her and there's also the added factor of Kimberly being sat in the circle too, which ups the embarrassment factor to mortifying.

The game continues and she thinks she's safe because there's still a while to go until Zack’s turn again, and even Kimberly’s first one, but then a guy who seems to have misplaced his shirt and one shoe blurts out his question smugly. “Never have I ever had sex in the backseat _and_ front seat of a car.” He downs his drink, clearly proud of himself, but Trini whips her head back up to stare at Kimberly in a panic.

They both know the answer to that.

Slowly, not breaking eye contact with Trini, Kimberly raises the rim of the cup to her lips and takes a long sip.

Oh my god.

Trini blushes and now she has no choice but to take a drink from her beer bottle as well, and Zack whoops with laughter. “I knew it! You two _dirty_ \- ”

“It was your car.” Kimberly cuts him off and the group laugh loudly as Zack gives her a death glare, and Trini thanks god for Kimberly’s joke because she was about three seconds from launching herself across the room and choking Zack to stop the rest of that sentence from coming out his mouth. The moment was funny she has to admit, but it's just another painful reminder that it would've been so much better if things were different, and she's harshly drawn back into their situation, which spoils her good mood completely.

Then, to her surprise, Kimberly tilts her head to the side and indicates to her that they make a quick exit before Zack notices they've gone, as he's rapidly explaining himself to the girl next to him about the rejections, and Trini snatches at the opportunity, standing to her feet and speed walking to Kimberly’s side. She doesn't turn back to look at her until they're leaving the house through the back door and into Jason’s yard, just to check Trini is still following her lead. The summer wind blows lightly and Trini is captivated by Kimberly’s hair ruffling in the breeze as they sit down on the decking. She pulls at the sides of her jacket and slides it off, wanting the chill in the air to cool her down after being stuck inside the sweaty party for so long. Kimberly doesn't speak, only watches her curiously as she takes it off, and steals a sip from the beer bottle she’d automatically brought out with her. Trini lets her, then sighs deeply and stares up at the night sky. It's late, way too late for her to drive back even if she was sober, but the stars are still twinkling brightly and she chuckles softly at the irony of how it’s possibly the most romantic setting she's had with a girl in two whole years, and _of course_ it would be with Kimberly.

“How are you? Like, really.” Kimberly whispers, and she sounds so sincere the ache in Trini’s heart resurfaces and she picks at the long grass shoots poking up through the decking.

“I… I have no idea.” she decides to be honest, and not just because Kimberly would be able to see right through her anyway. “Sometimes it's like… it's like I'm floating. You know?”

She thinks she's struggling to find the right words again, but Kimberly is nodding and agreeing with her. “Like you're on autopilot?” she offers.

“Yeah. Like I've just been drifting through college these last couple of years and now I seem to be stuck. Or like, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. If that makes sense.”

“I understand, Trin. You don't have to explain yourself to me.” she responds gently and the ache blossoms across Trini’s chest. She bites her lip to stop herself from saying anything reckless and goes for the safe option.

“How are you? How's everything with… you know?” she avoids saying it, but the implication into the state of her mental health lingers in the air and Kimberly shrugs.

“I’m on some better pills now. Same therapist though. Wasn't about to unload all my shit on some other random stranger, one’s enough.” Typical Kimberly deflects her severity of her situation with some humour and Trini impulsively rests her palm over Kimberly’s outstretched hand. Her eyelids flutter and close in response, and both of them take simple comfort in the warmth of the other’s familiar touch. Trini thinks about watching the stars again, but she's content in watching Kimberly’s lips tremble and a sigh escapes from them.

“We were good weren’t we?” Kimberly says and Trini’s heart stops.

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“Life.”

Kimberly chuckles heavily and opens her eyes to look at her. “Oh yeah. That.”

“I used to think the universe wanted us apart, back then.” Trini admits and takes another light sip of her beer. She's surprised to see Kimberly look at her like _that_ , like she's genuinely shocked at something Trini says for once and there's a glint of something familiar in her eyes.

“Really?” Kimberly leans forward and pulls the beer bottle from her hands. Again, Trini lets her.

“Yeah.”

“Well what do you think now?” her question is casual, but it feels like they could finally be able to move past _this_. That the bridges she has burned can rebuild themselves.

“I think the universe can go fuck itself.”

Kimberly bursts out with carefree laughter, and it's probably the alcohol in her system but a comfortable buzz fills her mind, and she distinctly remembers that is what it’s like when being with her made Trini feel like _living_ again.

Maybe, just maybe, a small sliver of something settles between her pounding heart and her ribcage.

It feels a lot like hope.

 

 

3 //

Trini realises she has a type.

Girls who don't look like Kimberly.

She fucking hates herself.

The air in the bedroom is still and stuffy, but the cool breeze drifting through the open window reminds her that summer is definitely almost over. Objectively, it's been simultaneously her worst and best summer in a while; the string of regrettable one night stands and endless lonely nights eating takeaway and binging Netflix are never to be thought of again, and the only positive part of it remains abandoned in Jason Scott’s backyard with a bottle of beer and a girl that outshines the stars.

She groans. This is her _last_ one night stand, she swears to herself, to Zordon, to the universe that seems to still want to fuck her over. Her head turns a fraction to see the weak light pouring through the open crack in the curtain, revealing the specks of dust hovering in the air. She squints at the light until her eyes begin to adjust, and the naked girl lying in the bed next to her sniffles in her sleep and rolls over.

Trini sighs. What a mess.

Her, not the girl.

She licks her dry lips a couple of times in an attempt to clear the feeling of alcohol induced cottonmouth, but she’s still definitely hungover and too disgusted with herself for it to disappear. Again, the girl makes a small noise and Trini almost has a heart attack, but she doesn't wake up and she takes this as a sign.

Carefully, she moves her legs a fraction, and then her arms, then her body and finally she sits up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She finds her bra still dangling on the bedpost and she quickly puts it on, fumbling with the hooks for a lot longer than she likes. Her shirt and jeans are thankfully easy to find in the mess of the girl’s bedroom floor, and Trini unashamedly uses her Ranger powers to remain as stealthy as possible so she doesn’t wake her. They had a fun night, but that doesn't mean she’s going to call her again.

She spares one last look at the girl; her long blonde hair, the curves of her body, last night’s heavy make-up smudged half across her face and the pillow and she remembers how she'd felt to kiss. How there was something there, but _Trini_ wasn't quite there.

The girl is everything good, but she's no Kimberly.

During the Walk of Shame back to her flat (she really does truly hate herself), her mind drifts back to what it always does, and she kicks a stone hard in anger, forgetting about her strength as it soars through the air and directly over the roof of the corner building. She doesn't even hear it come down. Oops.

She slots the key into the door of her flat and doesn't even bother to take off her shoes when she collapses face-first onto her bed.

It’s not the blonde girl’s fault. It never is, with any girl. It’s the single sheer fact she’s been unable to form connections, let people in, since the break-up with Kimberly. She doesn't blame her for that, because she doesn't deserve it. Their split was mutual, no matter how hard it was for the both of them. It's funny, because even though she's older now, she doesn't think she's ever made more of an adult decision than choosing to end their relationship that day. They wouldn't have survived any longer; they needed that independence to learn and grow and fix their own mistakes before attempting to commit to something that needed a lot of work. They're not perfect, no-one is. But being with Kimberly, when they were happy and lovesick and unburdened from responsibilities in the beginning, _god_ that felt as close to perfect as she's ever been lucky enough to have.

Since Billy’s birthday party a little over a month ago she's been on the brink of calling or texting her so many times, even almost driving down to Angel Grove and spontaneously planning a visit just in case they were to bump into each other again. All because of one simple reason – the day after the party, when she'd slept in her car (told Billy she was sleeping at Zack’s, and told Zack Jason’s) and woke up sober enough to drive back to her flat, she'd put her phone on charge and scrolled through her notifications to see something she never would've expected.

_Kimberly Hart has requested to be your friend!_

On all social media. Literally everything. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, even Skype although she's not used that in years. It was the smart idea for both of them to delete each other a few days after their spilt, because there's nothing more painful than trying to get over someone and seeing them plastered all over your news feed when even the sight of their name makes you want to stop breathing. Trini had learned that the hard way. But now it seems like Kimberly genuinely wants to begin fixing their friendship, or whatever crumbs remain of it.

She's never been able to delete Kimberly’s phone number though. She tells herself it's because of emergencies, if Kimberly needed her for a life-threatening situation, or Rita decided space isn't for her and comes back to Angel Grove, and she would ring her yelling _it's morphin’ time!_

It never happens of course.

Trini hasn't had the courage to look deeply enough at any of Kimberly’s social media profiles since she accepted the requests, although she's certain Kimberly would've stalked all of hers by now. Rolling over onto her back, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and opens Instagram. There's no time like the present, she thinks, and it's _not_ just because she misses her.

The first row of photos are recent, the third on the far right is a mirror pic of the outfit she'd worn to the party, the one below that is a puppy filter selfie and Trini lets out a long low groan. This is a bad idea.

But she keeps scrolling.

If Zack was here he would've already made the joke about being eighty weeks down your crush’s Instagram trying to dodge the heart button like the plague, but she doesn't need his annoying ass to warn her how precarious her current situation is, she _knows_. She almost presses the back button when something, or more like _someone,_ catches her eye.

It's the guy. The one from outside the boutique store, across the road from the Krispy Kreme, the one that Kimberly had kissed on the cheek. She almost cracks her phone screen opening up the post and staring at the image, in which they're standing side by side holding up champagne glasses and grinning at the camera and Trini thinks she's never seen such a couple’s picture before. It's practically an engagement photo and she bites down on her lip hard. Who the fuck is he? She scrolls down to read the caption and comments to see if he's been tagged and… _oh_.

 

 **kimhart** loved having this one to stay for a couple of days @arjuns89

 **evasinsta** @kimhart thanks for having him!! hope my husband wasn't too much trouble haha

 **kimhart** @evasinsta i’ll send u my babysitter’s bill in the post

 **arjuns89** @kimhart i hate u, @evasinsta love u

 

She immediately recognises Eva’s name as one of Kimberly’s distant cousins that lives in India, and the guy in the pic is her _husband_ , who must've been in America on business or something. The cheek kiss and playful touches had all been _platonic_. She feels like a complete idiot and she vows never to tell Kimberly about this for as long as she lives because oh my god. Jealousy has never been something she can control, especially when it comes to Kimberly. How could she not? Kimberly is way out of her league, always has been and always will be, and everyone either wants to be her or date her. Trini used to be teased about it by her, but in a way that implied she found it cute and endearing, not possessive. It's another thing she loves about her.

Loves…

Her thumb hovers over Kimberly’s number. She should call. She could call. Just a casual conversation about their day, nothing more or nothing less. But there's that small nagging voice in the back of her mind that whispers about what a huge mistake that would be and she closes the contacts app. Perhaps she should just message her.

She opens the last text thread between them, the only text thread they now have.

 

 **Kim [05:49]** _hope u got home safe x_

 **Trini [05:54]** _i did thank you. You too?_

 **Kim [05:54]** _yh just a minute ago_

 **Trini [05:56]** _Good. It was nice seeing you tonight and catching up. It's been a while huh_

 **Kim [05:56]** _u could say that lol_

 **Kim [05:57]** _night trin xx_

 **Trini [05:57]** _goodnight kim x_

 

She stares at the first and last kiss emoji with a lump forming in her throat, and it physically hurts her chest to think that Kimberly still cares enough to ask her if she gets home safe and there's the use of the nickname and Trini can't count the amount of times she’s been called that from her, and every emotion she's kept bottled up for two agonising years threatens to spill from -

 **kimhart** liked your photo.

She throws her phone at the wall and bounces right off, disappearing under her bed. Can Kimberly _fucking_ Hart read minds now? Is that what this is? Or is this is the universe simply torturing her for the hell of it because a month ago she'd told it to go fuck itself, and now in response it's sending a meteor named Kimberly Hart And Her Instagram Obsession straight for her. _My god._

Guiltily, she slips off her bed and searches for her phone under it, praying the screen isn't smashed beyond repair. Her hand touches something wet and she recoils – _gross_ – and then brushes over a lost sock, a few loose coins, then her knuckle bumps up against the corner of something hard and she frowns. She pushes her other hand under and grabs the box, pulling it out and as soon as she notices the flowery pattern and gold lock her hands whip away as if the box is burning, and it might as well be because the memories inside it chase her like a burning inferno and there's no escaping it now. Not after the last twenty-four hours.

Trini gingerly pulls it closer to her again and flicks the lock open, wiping the dust off the top in one smooth hand movement. Without giving her the opportunity to overanalyse everything again and psych herself out, she tips the lid open and stares at the contents inside. Her hands shake as they withdraw the first stack of papers on top, and she shuffles through dozens of movie stubs from endless cinema dates (Wonder Woman is her favourite), a handwritten note once left on her pillow with the promise of coming back with breakfast and a kiss, numerous Krispy Kreme receipts, a recipe for one of Kimberly’s favourite Indian dishes that Trini learned to cook off by heart and… an old Valentine’s Day card from the first one they spent together. There's hot tears pricking at the corner of her eyes and she figures she might as well read it, because she's already in too deep and she'll never experience anything as painful as the day they broke up.

She's so wrong.

Her fingers tremble as she opens the card, the tears spilling over and falling in small droplets onto the paper, slightly smudging Kimberly’s already messy handwriting.

 

_To, babygirl / lil one / a hot piece of ass / any other name that makes you wanna kill me_

_Thanks for putting up with my shit for so long I’m constantly amazed you still want to be my gf ??? You love me ha_

_I know cards are stupid and you're gonna say this is cheesy but you know what?? Deal with it because I’m so in love with you and I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do for me because I know it's a Lot, but somehow you're still here to hold my hand and rub my back and massage me and this is Not a Hint but it is so get on that when you're done reading._

_Each day that goes by I fall even more [insert other romantic crap here]. But seriously, I can't wait to experience a million Valentine’s Days with you and birthdays and Christmases (is that the plural of Christmas I have no idea)._

_Thanks for being my rock. My world. My everything._

_I love you,_

_Kim (if you didn't already guess, I know what you're like after drinking champagne and I already know you've got me a bottle when I'm writing this card weeks before the day) xxxxxxx_

_p.s. google tells me that Christmases is indeed the plural of Christmas. Who knew? This is like cacti and cactuses all over again which I still can't believe we argued about for two fucking hours_

 

Trini actually laughs, even if it is watery and slightly hysterical, because she sometimes forgets how much of a dork Kimberly was when they were dating, and she places the card safely to the side. This hurts, but it hurts so _good_ and she allows herself a few seconds to process everything she's dragged up today. She wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand to dispel the tears and takes one last look at the box. There's so much more inside but she’ll actually have a complete emotional breakdown if she relives anything else, and so she delicately places the papers back in, the card on top, and closes the lid slowly.

Fuck.

She runs her hands through her hair and summons the energy to get to her feet, but suddenly there's white spots in her vision and she feels light-headed and weak. With a jolt, she realises she's not eaten anything since yesterday afternoon and it's almost lunchtime. Her phone is clearly a lost cause, and its most likely smashed to pieces anyway, and so she only picks up her keys and leaves her flat again, this time walking to the nearest Starbucks. She _really_ needs her coffee, and not the shit kind from the corner café. It takes her longer than she expects to get there, and it seems like everything and everyone is against her today, because the line is long. _Fucking wonderful_. But it's not queueing outside the shop, and so she figures it's worth waiting for and joins it. She feels lost without her phone to play on and pass the time so she pretends to study the menu, as if she doesn't get coffee every single day of her life like it depends on it. At this point, it probably does.

“Hi.”

Trini spins around and almost crashes into the owner of the voice, which is a big mistake. Strong hands grip her forearms to stop her from falling, and she looks up from her feet and right into the warm brown eyes of _Kimberly Hart_ , and there's a crazy part of her that thinks she must've passed out in her room and she's dreaming, but nope, Kimberly is staring at her with an extremely concerned expression and she almost screams. This can't be happening, it can't. What the fuck is she doing in this part of the city anyway? It's far from Angel Grove, and even further from her college, so what the _fuck_?

“Hi.” she's in shock, understandably so, and her voice betrays her as she lets out a squeaky greeting in response, but at that moment she's just relieved she can even speak. Now let's try for a full coherent sentence, _Trini you ass_. “What are you doing here?”

Kimberly raises her eyebrow and drops her hands from Trini’s arms, and she already craves the contact again. “Buying coffee, what are you doing here?” she says, the corner of her lips twitching in amusement at her snarky reply and Trini really fucking hates how cute she finds it.

However, before she even has a chance to respond, the cashier is yelling at her to get her attention and she spins back around throwing him a glare and he does at double take at her expression. She doesn't even want to imagine what it looks like. “Are you… okay? Do you want to order or… I can call you an ambulance I-” he stumbles and hesitates half between speaking to her and calling his manager over. Trini feels a body press up against her back and she freezes, immediately clenching her fists and gritting her teeth as Kimberly leans her head in and whispers in her ear.

“He wants your order.”

“I'm well aware _thank you._ ” she hisses and it comes out with a low moan and Kimberly hums softly before pulling back again, leaving Trini to blurt out her order at the poor bewildered boy behind the till and he punches in the request, then glances back up at her again, waiting. She ends up in a mini staring contest with him before he breaks under her pressure.

“I just… need payment. For the coffee.” he mumbles and wow if she isn't embarrassed already, she realises she's left her wallet back in her flat and she doesn't have her phone for Apple Pay. She hesitates and considers throwing herself through the huge glass window, but then Kimberly is leaning forward again and giving him another order.

“I got it, don't worry about her she's having a slow day.” she laughs and hands the cashier a ten dollar bill and tells him to put the change in the charity pot on the counter. He nods dumbly and has no hesitation in moving onto the next customer.

“My hero.” Trini murmurs without thinking, and Kimberly breaks out into a wide grin as they step to the side to wait for their drinks.

“Can you tell me why you came to a Starbucks without any money?” she asks and the grin is still there, teasing and relentless.

Trini would rather die the most painful death imaginable than admit what she was doing in her flat before coming here, because there's not a chance on earth that Kimberly even comes close to missing her that much she's crying over a memory box on a random Friday morning. “Erm it's a long story.”

“I got time.” Kimberly shrugs and brushes her body past her, causing the hairs on her arm to stand up electrified and she struggles to remain calm, but then she's pulling back next to her again, holding her drink out for her to take and she almost snatches it from her hand. So much for staying calm.

“Okay long story short, I left my wallet at my place and I smashed my phone this morning so in my anger I wanted coffee and I didn’t realise, and then _you_ threw me off completely – what are you even doing here anyway? And by here I mean here, not Starbucks smartass.” Trini clarifies as Kimberly had already opened her mouth to repeat her earlier joke but she just laughs softly instead, a sound so familiar yet as she hears it she feels that ache tug at her stomach again.

“My dad’s got a couple of work meetings here today. His car broke down a few days ago, so I offered to drive him. It was purely coincidence, however, that I chose to come get a coffee from this exact Starbucks before driving back for the day. Weird right? Almost like -”

“- fate.” Trini finishes her sentence for her, and Kimberly hums again, nodding slowly.

“Yeah. Fate.” she says and takes a long sip of her coffee to fill the natural lull in the conversation, but of course Trini ends up ruining it.

“I was gonna call you. I mean, earlier, like days ago whatever.” she fumbles to cover up her mistake, but Kimberly doesn't notice. Instead, she gives her a small smile and tilts her head to the side. It's another part of Kimberly that Trini finds too fucking cute to cope with and so she drops her gaze to the burning coffee cup in her hand.

Kimberly’s fingers come to rest on her forearm again to grab her attention and her skin tingles at the touch. She glances back up to her wordlessly and there's a moment – a small, brief moment – where she thinks she sees something that looks a lot like _longing_ in her eyes, and she's suddenly hyper aware of the way Kimberly’s fingers slide down the side of her skin and it's only inches, a subtle movement, but it makes the thoughts of touching her back, of kissing her, of letting herself be close to her again loop around in her mind.

A sharp pain hits her in the side, and there’s a customer pushing their elbow into the small of her back, trying to shove her out of the way to get their coffee, and she's almost about to just knock the cup right out of their hands for interrupting them, but Kimberly wraps her fingers around her arm and pulls her closer. The customer gruffly mutters a thank you to her, and Kimberly smiles briefly at him in response, but Trini’s only inches away from her now, the warmth radiating from her body enrapturing all of her senses. A sudden observation pops into her head. Kimberly still uses that strawberry shampoo. Her favourite.

“You were? I would've liked that.” Kimberly’s voice drops to a low tone, causing Trini to lean in a fraction more to hear her, and by the blush that appears on her cheeks that was Kimberly’s exact intention. Oh god. Here comes that complete emotional breakdown.

“Yeah. But you know… my phone’s probably broke now so like I couldn't call if it is.”

“Right.” She gives her an amusing look and Trini starts to panic; time is spilling away from her, Kimberly slipping through her fingertips and it's all too familiar, except this time she has no control over it, no way to take a firm hold of the situation and make the right decision, and it's terrifying. The universe screams at her to do something right now, spin her life upside down again in a matter of seconds, but instead she's stuck frozen to the spot, observing the gentle way the girl she loves is touching her.

The girl she loves.

As if there's any doubt. Because it's been two years, and she's still in love. She remembers how loving her is as simple as breathing and she's been drowning for two whole fucking years, but now, as her heart pounds frantically in her chest, it's like her head is coming above the water, Kimberly her focal point.

Kimberly appears to come to some other realisation at the same time, and her lips part to say something, and Trini’s eyes are drawn to them, because she knows what they feel like, how soft and warm, what they _taste_ like –

“Trin, I-”

Her phone rings.

Translation: the universe says she's too late.

Kimberly apologises nervously and slides her thumb across the screen. “Hello? Dad? No, no, I’m still in town why? Cancelled? Do you…” she breaks out into rapid Gujarati, trying to keep up with her father’s frantic voice down the receiver, and Trini stares down at her shoes, knowing she fucking blew it. Big time. “Okay, I'll come get you now. Don't panic okay? Love you.” Kimberly finishes off in English, presumably for Trini’s benefit, and runs a hand through her messy hair as she frowns, sliding her barely touched coffee cup back onto the counter.

“It's okay. Go.” Trini says flatly, doing what she does best and becoming stoic and shut off, because why even try when she's just destined to fail anyway?

Kimberly pauses for a brief second, biting her lip anxiously, but Trini rolls her eyes and Kimberly makes up her mind.

Doesn't even hesitate to lean in and kiss her on the cheek.

Trini freezes, the spot where her lips touch her skin turns numb and tingling and it _burns_ and she's thrown into her memories again; when Kimberly’s favourite form of soft torture was to kiss her usually blushing cheeks and the tip of her nose to get her to scrunch it and then down her jawline, to the shell of her ear and her neck…

“Fix your phone and text me dumbass.” Kimberly yells over her shoulder as she skips out of the store, pulling her phone out again to ring her father back but she shakes it as a not-so-subtle hint to her, and then she’s gone.

This time as Trini watches Kimberly leave, it hurts for a different reason.

Hope is dangerous, but she believes in it.

She just prays Kimberly does too.

 

 

4 //

It takes the end of the world for them to be together again.

Not just _them_ , but all of them.

She gets back to her flat after standing still in the middle of the Starbucks for what seems like hours, thinking of the feeling of being kissed by Kimberly and how it would feel if it wasn't just on the cheek but on the lips too, and she's still thinking about it twelve hours later.

Still thinking about it as she remembers to find her phone and her gaze brushes over the box.

Still thinking about it as she scrolls through Kimberly’s Instagram again at one in the morning.

Still thinking about it as she opens up her texts and impulsively types a string of messages, pressing send quickly on each one before she chickens out.

 

 **Trini [02:03]** _found my phone_

 **Trini [02:03]** _screen’s only cracked at the top and i no longer have a front facing camera but_

 **Trini [02:03]** _at least it's not the whole thing_

 **Trini [02:03]** _like how many phones did you break senior year??? i forget_

 **Kim [02:04]** _twelve asshole and u kno it_

 **Kim [02:04]** _hi btw :D glad 2 see u aren't ghosting me_

 **Trini [02:06]** _glad 2 see ur txting stylez hasn’t changed_

 **Kim [02:06]** _how much did that pain u to type out n send lmao_

 **Trini [02:07]** _absolute torture kimberly_

 

She gets another sarcastic reply in response, and as much as her pulse races each time a new text buzzes through, it's the sense of familiarity and how normal this feels that gets her smiling and laughing happier than she has in _so long_. Just knowing that Kimberly is lying in her own bed too, attention completely fixed on their conversation as they slip back into the simple banter and messing with each other, feeds the hope weighing down on her chest; but there's definitely a firm thin line that settles between their joking and _flirting_ , because it's just so easy for either one of them to slip up and fall head over heels across that line.

Her eyelids start to droop and she buries herself into the duvet, wrapping it completely around her body. There's nothing more she wants to do in the entire universe than keep on talking to her, but sleep threatens to pull her under and she desperately needs it after last night. Groaning, she deletes her sentence and retypes it.

 

 **Trini [02:57]** _i hate to be That Person but i can barely keep my eyes open_

 **Kim [02:57]** _it's okay trin go get some rest xx_

 **Trini [02:57]** _are you sure??_

 **Kim [02:57]** _honestly babe it's not worth stressing over im fine go to sleep we can talk in the morning_

 **Trini [02:58]** _ok i will. speak tomorrow._

 **Trini [03:06]** _……………………….. “babe”_

 **Kim [03:06]** _shut up_

 

She drifts asleep clutching her phone to her chest, letting the screen fade to black as it slowly rises and falls on her as she breathes.

That night she dreams of firsts.

_The girl wearing a yellow checkered flannel shirt and nothing else glides her hands up her girlfriend’s thighs, stopping to grasp them tightly as the girl with braids in her hair struggles to get her breath back. Wearing the flannel on purpose of course, because it drives her girlfriend fucking wild. Her breath hitches as fingertips press into skin, and her hips thrust forward, creating friction in the perfect spot. Her girlfriend is struggling to keep her composure, but she feels an eerie calm wash over her and as their eyes meet, drawn to each other as if the atoms in their bodies ache to be whole again, it's easy for her voice to remain steady. “Trini?” A low moan in response. “How do you say I love you in Spanish?” The girl’s eyes go wide and she fumbles with the words, but they're not lost in translation. Her asking the question isn't lost in translation, they both know what it means. She repeats the phrase back, and a smile as bright as the centre of the sun erupts onto her face. “I love you too.”_

Gasping for air, Trini’s arms lash out to rip the covers off her sweaty body, and she falls right over the edge of her bed, landing on the ground with a loud thump. “ _Fuck_.”

She winces and rubs her elbow where it had smacked into the wooden floor and groans. Judging by the light appearing through the sides of her blinds, it's sometime late in the morning, and she leans forward to grab her phone from the bedside table. It takes her a few seconds to realise it's not turning on, and then she remembers how she'd just let the battery run down as she texted Kimberly last night, in fear that if she moved from her spot, the messages would somehow stop coming through, and so it must've died overnight. Awesome. Her day is off to a _great_ start. She plugs it into the charger, refusing to get up off the floor until she sees the Apple logo appear on the screen. Satisfied with its progress, she stands up and stretches her arms.

 _Buzz_. The moment she begins to turn around and head towards the bathroom, it vibrates. Then again. And again, and again, and again, and she rushes to pick it up, her eyes scanning the notifications quickly. Holy shit. Dozens of missed calls and texts from Jason, Billy, Zack _and_ Kimberly, telling her to call them as soon as possible. Another message comes through and she almost cracks her phone.

 **Kim [10:21]** _trini please call me im losing my fucking mind pick up ur phone i need u_

What the hell is going on?

She doesn't even have seconds to wait before finding out.

Jason’s name appears on the screen, and she immediately presses answer, leaning awkwardly towards the wall as the charger tugs in the socket.

“I swear to god she’d better answer or I'm getting in my car _right now_ – _”_  

“Jason?” she cuts him off and hears some loud arguing in the background.

“ _Trini_? Thank god.” he raises his voice and tells the others to shut the hell up as he tries to speak to her. She definitely hears Kimberly’s voice yell for him to pass the phone over but he shushes her.

“Jace, what's going on?” she sounds horribly quiet, but she's never heard Jason sound so relieved to know she's safe and that scares her beyond anything.

“Turn on the news. Now.” Jason commands and she twists her body to reach for the remote on the bedside table, and she aims it at the television on her desk, switching it on. It's already on the right channel, and with a dry mouth she drinks in the scenes of utter devastation on the fuzzy screen, the news anchor standing in front of a crumbling building and with a jolt she recognises Angel Grove’s public library. Her heart begins to pound as she scans the headlines rapidly. No. No, not again.

“Holy shit.” It slips out as the reports on a new attack on her city keep flooding in, descriptions of bird-like monsters terrorising and hurting numerous people, setting fire to cars and destroying buildings, but most importantly she notices the small byline which states in bold letters: Power Rangers nowhere to be seen.

“Are you watching it?” Jason asks bluntly and fights off another attempt to take his phone away from him. Zack, as well as Kimberly this time.

“Yeah. Rita?” she hisses and the faint scar on her collarbone throbs with a dull ache.

“No, something, _someone_ worse. Just – get down here as fast as you can. _Ow_. Okay jeez…” Jason’s voice fades away grumpily and the phone passes on.

“Trini?” Kimberly’s anxious voice crackles over the line and she almost sobs with relief.

She yanks the charger from the phone - 6% should be enough to get her to Angel Grove. “Kim I’m coming. Just hold on for me yeah? Don't go rushing into doing anything stupid.”

Kimberly laughs quietly and drops her voice to a low whisper. “Since when have I _ever_ done that?”

“I'm serious.” she bites her lip and tries to put as much emphasis on her tone as possible. If anything happens to Kimberly, especially when she's not there, she'd never forgive herself.

“Hi serious, I’m Dad.” Zack’s voice yells down the speaker, and she hears a resounding _thud_ followed by a cry of protest. She rolls her eyes. What a dork, but somehow she still loves him.

“Listen, Kim? I'm going to have to go to save phone battery but I promise I'll be there soon okay?”

After reassuring her for a few more minutes, and swearing to break speed limits, Kimberly lets her hang up, and she tosses the phone onto the bed. She rushes around her room, quickly discarding her pyjamas and throwing on a tank top and leggings, something easy to morph in.

 _Morphing_.

She didn’t even realise. It's been almost a year since she last morphed – during a thunderstorm just to see if she still could when boredom got the better of her – and what if now she can't do it? Has _performance_ issues? That's a disturbing thought, and she shakes it from her mind, but she still approaches the bottom desk drawer, where she knows it lies silent and cold whenever she's in her flat. If she's out, it appears in her bag, or her rucksack, even squeezes inside her wallet, or anywhere that doesn't touch her body. It started to do that a few months ago, refuse to co-operate with her and she's never felt so disconnected. It was like one of her limbs had been torn from her body without warning. Praying for something to have changed, she slides the bottom drawer open and peers inside.

It's _glowing_.

A rush of excitement floods her system and she almost shouts out loud. Her fingers tremble as they reach forward and she grasps at it. Immediately bright yellow sparks fly from the coin and jump up her arm, making the hairs prick up and she grins.

She allows herself one moment to just stand there and hold it in her hand to feel it’s warmth, how touching it makes her feel as comfortable as when she’s with Kimberly. “I've missed you buddy.”

Talking to her power coin now seems like she's truly losing it, and so she springs up, grabs her phone and keys, and shoves her sneakers on.

Trini considers morphing to drive her car to Angel Grove, because at least if she gets any speeding tickets or pulled over, they've surely got to let the yellow fucking Power Ranger off the hook. But then she pictures Jason and Zordon’s faces as she shows them the grainy security camera footage of a morphed Trini speeding down the freeway and she almost crashes her car turning a corner. Zordon’s face would be worth it, but Jason’s always been a bit harder to disappoint.

The sign to the town looms large ahead of her, but she doesn't turn to go into the city; instead she spins the car down a beaten road, heading straight for the quarry. Her phone is on 2% but she's made it in record time. The car barely rolls to a stop at the top of the cliff before she kicks the door open and runs out, straight up the rock and even though she's severely out of practice, she doesn't even slow down a fraction as she launches herself off the edge, arms spinning wildly and she screams as her body hits the water, the sounds of her wailing muffled as water fills her mouth and lungs. She floats to the top of the pool, coughing and spluttering, but then takes one huge breath in and dives under, swimming to the wall of water. She pushes through, and it's all second nature to her, muscle memory helping her to power through the water, and taking her back onto the gravel.

Trini doesn't know how she ever thought anything otherwise, or tries to deny it to herself, but Angel Grove is her home.

The four people standing in front of her are her home.

“Missing someone?” she projects her voice loudly to make her entrance, and they all whip around.

Zack and Billy immediately rush towards her, Billy smiling warmly at her side as Zack crashes into her to pull her into a bear hug, again pressing her face uncomfortably against his chest, but this time she clings onto him for a little bit longer, enjoying the quiet sound of his steady heartbeat in her ear. He places his hand in her hair and kisses the top of her forehead. “Hey crazy girl.” His voice is soft, scared.

She gently steps out of his embrace, resting her palm on Billy’s shoulder in greeting for a few seconds, then drops it as Jason calls at them to come back over, Trini included, and she _belongs_ here. If there is ever a universal sign, then this is it. Jason gives her a curt nod and a small smile before turning his attention back to Zordon, but she's not moving in that direction. No, she's being pulled towards _her_ like a magnet, and then she's stepping closer too, throwing her arms around Trini’s neck and burying her face into her shoulder.

“I'm so glad you're okay.” Kimberly murmurs, her mouth now closer to Trini’s ear and a shiver travels down her spine. “I couldn't breathe thinking something had happened to you.”

She brings her arms to wrap around Kimberly’s waist and hug her tighter. “Isn't that supposed to be my line?”

The other girl laughs shakily against her and moves her head back, but still rests her arms on Trini’s shoulders. Their eyes meet properly, and before when they crossed paths at the party, or in the coffee shop, there was still a small part of both of them that remained guarded and heartbroken and angry, but now everything has changed. She can openly see the emotion in Kimberly’s eyes now. How much it means to her that Trini’s back, that she’s safe, and she's going to be right by her side to fight this.

“Well that was dramatic.” Zack cuts through their bubble with a low chuckle. Kimberly drops her arms and crosses them, whilst she steps back awkwardly, the palpable tension still hovering between them. It's a small reminder that they're not quite there. Not quite yet.

“Good to see you Trini.” Zordon’s voice booms throughout the ship and even though half the time she spent with him she felt like kicking him in his face, there's always going to be a sense of admiration for him, no matter how long it's been since she was last here.

“Good to be back Zordon.” She replies and Billy shuffles forward to stand in between them, nervously wringing his hands.

“Permanently?” he asks and it takes her a brief second to realise what he means, but the answer comes to her so easily, and that's how she knows it's the right decision.

“Yeah. Back for good.” Trini confirms, and out of the corner of her eye she sees Kimberly’s lips twitch up into a small smile. However, she only just notices there's one last part missing to their reunion. “Where's Alpha?”

Jason frowns, but Zordon is the one to speak. “He's checking our archives to see if my worst fears are coming true.”

Trini gulps and shifts anxiously on her feet. “And what would that be?”

“He won't tell us.” Jason says coolly, and from the frustrated look on his face, she can tell it's an argument he must've had dozens of times already. “Just expects us to go out there and morph now Trini’s here and get our asses kicked cause we’re in the dark again right?”

Zordon moves closer to him to presumably spout some intended wisdom upon him which always sounds more like pure bullshit to her, but there's a nagging feeling in the back of Trini’s mind and she repeats Jason’s words back to herself. “Morph… now I'm here? Couldn't you before?”

The words have barely left her mouth before everyone's immediate reaction is to freeze, and the other three stare at Jason in panic. Jason swallows hard and shrugs. “No we could… just not for long. Sometimes not at all, depended on a day to day basis. It got a lot easier after Billy’s party, so I guess having you close to us again helped. Zack was the best at still morphing, but er Kim never could quite-” he cuts himself off before he reveals too much more, but the damage is already done. Trini spins around and stares open-mouthed at Kimberly, who flashes Jason a death stare and fiddles with the ring around her finger.

Their eyes meet again and this time there is fear swirling in them, but for a completely different reason. “It was nothing Trin. I'm fine now, look.” She speaks quickly to avoid her interrupting and stands up, stepping onto the morphing grid, and as the light underneath her feet shines brighter and pink sparks dance over her skin, she casts her a sly side glance and then yells at the top of her voice, “It’s morphin’ time!”

Zack chuckles gleefully and steps onto his plate, followed closely by Billy and Jason at the same time, and they all turn to look expectedly at her. The power coin vibrates crazily and almost burns a hole in her pocket, but she thinks   _fuck it_ and tosses all her inhibitions aside, carefully stepping onto her spot –

She gasps loudly as the sheer force of the grid tugs hard at the area just underneath her naval and the sparks fly all around her, the light blinding, red, blue, black, pink, _yellow_ , and her skin ignites with the tingling sensation of finally, _finally_ morphing all over and she feels whole again. God, she misses this. Glancing up and experiencing the sight of the pink ranger, however, she knows which one she misses more.

Jason yells at them to move, and they practically fly back up the quarry, racing competitively towards the middle of the town, where the chaos is concentrated the most, and Trini briefly wonders why the villains never pick a nice open field to fight in, just for once. As they get closer, Kimberly drifts to her side and she lets them momentarily brush hands before she turns her attention to the monsters.

Bird-like is the most accurate description the news could have possibly given them, as Trini barely has time to think before one floats near her, hovering a few inches off the ground and squawking at her. It's about the size of an actual human person and has the body of one, but it's skin is covered in matted black feathers, the face dominated by a large beak and as it cries at her, she notices the rows of razor sharp teeth inside. The talons are what concerns her the most as the faint scar on her collarbone itches again, and she grits her teeth.

To her left, Billy immediately starts to clear the public from the danger and escorts them to safety, Jason and Zack go straight for the punch now talk later approach, and that leaves Trini and Kimberly to pick off the monsters who stray too far from their group.

She smashes another bird right between the eyes and throws its crumbling body to the side just as Kimberly happens to kick one in the chest and send it flying in her direction. Kimberly chases after it as soon as she realises Trini’s too occupied with another monster to finish off hers, meaning she stumbles into Trini’s back just in time to punch her fist into what resembles the rest of its face and it collapses to the floor. Trini grunts in acknowledgement of Kimberly next to her, and they easily slide into the fighting stance they've assumed in dozens of situations before. She inwardly buzzes with excitement at the prospect of finishing this group off with Kimberly right by her side, just how it's meant to be. How the universe intends it to be. She supports Kimberly’s back with her own as she pushes against her to do a strong high kick to send a helpless bird soaring in the other direction and Trini grins in approval, then like an idiot she realises she has her visor up and so of course Kimberly can't see her, so she spins around.

“Nice kick.” she yells over the sound of Zack whooping in the background as he smashes his fists into three monsters at once. She notices the red streak of Jason following close behind him, clearly determined to annihilate more monsters than Zack does and she chuckles. Idiots.

But, as she's distracted, a bird sneaks up behind her and she hears Kimberly’s shout too late as its talons rip into her side and she lets out a blood-curdling scream as the pain shoots up her body and hits every single one of her nerve endings. She collapses to the ground, gulping in oxygen like she's drowning and her vision goes blurry, the tears forming thick and fast. Arms scoop her up under her armpits and she lets herself go weak, concentrating all her remaining energy into stopping the burning agony of the bleeding deep cuts over her ribs, and she faintly hears Kimberly scream her name in pure unadulterated terror, Jason yells through the communicator, Zack is running towards her…

All she knows is pain.

The world turns upside down, she feels her eyes close, _no_ … no, stay _awake_ … a voice pleads with her, screams her name raw but she can't respond… her body shuts down, poison spreads through her… she closes her eyes…

Her eyes snap open.

“Woah it's okay!” Kimberly immediately rushes to her side and grips her arm, trying to get to calm down, but her head is spinning fast and she dry heaves over the side of the metal bar, then she frowns, attempting to get a grip on her surroundings but the sharp stabbing in her side causes her to fall back again, slamming against a soft material.

Kimberly laces their hands together and tugs on it, trying again to get her to focus. “You're in the ship. It's okay, you're okay. I got you.” The soft rub of her thumb on the back of her hand acts as a focal point and she breathes in and out softly, counting to ten before opening her eyes, immediately meeting Kimberly’s concerned gaze and she smiles weakly.

“Miss Trini you're awake!” Alpha’s robotic voice is something she's never found particularly pleasant but if it had a face she'd probably kiss it right now. “Careful… careful, I still need to run some tests.” Alpha warns her as she tries to sit up, pulling herself closer to Kimberly.

She rests their foreheads together and takes comfort in the slow breathing and sighing between them, drawing upon Kimberly’s energy to stop the panic gripping her chest. “Where are the boys?”

“They're on their way.” She replies and Trini almost headbutts her as she struggles to move from the makeshift bed.

“You mean they're still out there?” Trini croaks with a dry throat, and she wants nothing more than to lie down right here cuddled up next to Kimberly, but if the boys are still trying to fight the birds on their own…

But Kimberly is shaking her head and softly touching her shoulder to get her to relax. “No they took care of it. As soon as you… went down… Zack wanted to fucking murder and tear that bird limb from limb, it never stood a chance. Billy was frantic and Jason angry, but they worked together to clear a path for me to take you to safety.”

She shifts restlessly, but the words have a calming effect on her panic. “So they're okay?”

“They're okay, they're on their way back now I promise you.” Kimberly responds, and she nods, suddenly too tired to do anything other than lie back down, squeezing their hands. There's a long silence that descends upon them, the heartbeat monitor beeping faintly in the background, Alpha shuffling around and Zordon muttering to himself, but Trini’s heart is right in this moment, touching Kimberly, staring at her with a thousand words in her eyes.

Trini almost died, and she wouldn't have had the time to say it.

So she tells her now. “I never got over you.”

“Me neither.” Kimberly replies quietly, and her eyes widen as if she’s shocked at her own confession.

Trini chuckles. “We’re such a mess.”

“I know. Aren't we always?” Their hands rest against her thigh and as she looks down she notices the silver ring glittering under the artificial light on her middle finger and stares at it, Kimberly humming softly in response. She lets the memory of how happy she felt, _they_ felt, when she gave it to her wash over her, but her tranquility doesn't last long.

She sighs, and it hurts her more than the wound in her side to say it. “It’s why we should wait… until all of this is sorted, and we know what we’re up against.”

“Yeah, doesn’t make this any less painful than the first time around.” Kimberly murmurs, her brow furrowing, her fingers twitching in Trini’s palm.

“I don't think anything will.” She says quietly, and guilt appears across her face but before Trini can reprimand herself, Kimberly begins to smirk.

“I still want to kiss you though.” Kimberly says casually and looks up shyly at her, and her heart almost explodes in her chest. Even after all of this time, she still reacts the exact same way, shaking with disbelief that she actually wants to be with her like that.

Trini leans in a fraction more, deliberately drawing her eyes down to glance at Kimberly’s lips as she speaks. “Maybe kissing doesn't have to wait…”

Kimberly’s eyebrow raises and she tilts her head forward, and Trini’s pulse skyrockets, because holy shit she's actually going to do this, she's actually going to kiss –

The doors to the ship slam open and Zack is sprinting through, yelling her name with extreme worry and Trini moans as Kimberly pulls back, but she winks at her and it's enough to get her to compose herself before the three boys come stumbling into the room, Zack rushing to her side and dropping to his knees. She uses her other free hand to tap her fingers under his chin and he melts into her touch.

“Give it to me straight, doc.” he cries dramatically at Alpha, and it doesn't have expressions but Trini swears she's never seen a robot look so done with anyone before.

“I'm not gonna die asshat.” Trini mutters and glances up at Billy and Jason, who crowd behind Zack, and she smiles at them, trying to look better than she feels on the inside.

“Oh thank god. Here I was thinking I was going to have to make the tough decision of deciding whether to play _Another One Bites The Dust_ at your funeral or Rickroll your guests.” Zack grins back at her, and she rolls her eyes, but his joke settles the pain in her stomach that appeared the moment he entered the room and looked at her like his life would've ended too if she was drastically hurt.

Jason takes a step closer and rests a hand on Zack’s shoulder. “Zordon says he's needs to speak to us. Can you walk Trini? Me and Zack can carry you…”

Trini appreciates his offer, but she's not that weak. Plus, she's stubborn as hell and she's not about to let a fucking _bird_ be the reason she's knocked out of action. “I got it.” She swings her legs off the bed, wincing slightly at the needle-like pain poking in her ribs, but then Kimberly still has her right hand so she leans against her, and Zack grabs her left hand and she doesn't need it, but she thinks it's probably more for his benefit than hers and so she lets him guide her towards the morphing grid.

Zordon swivels all the way around to the right, so she doesn't have to walk that far and he gives her a heavy glare, probably meaning to look concerned but failing miserably. He just looks disappointed. Wouldn't be surprised if he is.

“His name is Lord Zedd.” Zordon states, and by the way his voice wavers fractionally at the mention of the name, Trini reckons there's a huge history behind him. “He's as old as Rita, but we defeated his powers first, before her and the meteor. His plans to defeat us never seemed to stick.” Zordon pauses briefly at the moment, clearly weighing up how much information to tell them before he scares them shitless, like last time. “Alpha confirmed my theory whilst you were fighting Zedd’s bird monsters. He's trapped.”

Billy steps forward again, questioning Zordon like he always does. “Trapped? How is he trapped? Where?”

“Not on this earth. No, he can't come here yet. His powers are still too weak. I’d hoped they were weak enough for him to never come back, but with the reappearance of Rita he seems to have latched onto the remaining embers of her power and has been steadily growing his own power back since.” Zordon explains, and Kimberly blanches next to her, bumping her arm against her own. From what Zordon is saying, it seems like this… Lord Zedd could be just as bad, or worse than Rita.

“So what's the extent of his power? Will he ever be able to come here?” Billy asks, and Trini mentally sighs with relief. _Thank god_ for Billy and his canny knack to ask the exact questions that float in her mind, but she lacks the ability to word them correctly.

Zordon sighs, and Alpha whizzes across the room and back again, rotating his head in distress. “I can only tell you this: Zedd may never grow strong enough to come here in your lifetime, there may never be another attack in Angel Grove ever again. You live peaceful, uninterrupted lives. Grow old together. But then there's also the other side, in which his powers grow strong enough to unleash devastation upon this earth and you are the last line of defence. I believe in you Rangers, whatever course the future may take. Now, I need time to think.” Zordon finishes his speech and disappears into the wall, the large pixels fading away in waves. Typical.

The five of them look away from the wall and at each other. Silence stretches past seconds. Zack whistles. “So… what do we do now?”

 

They have a campfire of course.

Billy suggests it, and all of them agree rapidly. Trini doesn't actually say _yes_ because the moment he opens his mouth to say it, she collapses from exhaustion against Zack, who without hesitating, picks her up by her thighs and hoists her up into the air. She slaps his shoulder playfully, but he takes his new duty as her legs very seriously, and carries her all the way back up the cliff towards his trailer, finally setting her down against a log. Kimberly sticks by Zack’s side the whole journey up here, not wanting Trini to leave her sight even for a second, then sits pressed up against her. Jason gets the fire going after a few attempts, and leans back against his own log. Billy happily sits next to Jason, with Zack in the middle of him and Kimberly, from which he can observe Trini directly across from him. Time passes, nightfall enveloping them as they share a few private jokes, and Trini tells them the story of bumping into Kimberly in the Starbucks, which seems like a lifetime ago but it was only yesterday, deliberately avoiding the subject weighing down on their minds. Trini and Kimberly gravitate even closer to each other until she's practically sitting in her lap, Kimberly’s arms wrap tightly around her waist, her hands interlocking to secure her there. She presses her face into Trini’s back, sighing contentedly.

“Hey guys?” Billy interrupts the sound of the fire crackling and they all turn to look at him. “Is this it? Will we all… separate again? You know, after Zedd.” He never sounds so heavy like this and Trini knows, especially by the awkward glances she receives from Jason and Zack, that the question is more directed to her, and the arms around her body start to slip away.

The sparks fly and she looks into the fire, the flames licking the sky, reds and oranges and yellows in stark contrast against the purple splatters of cloud against a black canvas. “It depends, Billy.”

The sudden obvious sad reactions from the boys is what she expects, but she ignores them and twists around to stumble to her feet, climbing off of Kimberly’s lap and holding her hand out.

“On what?” he responds curiously.

“On what happens next.” For a brief moment she thinks she's going to get rejected again and her throat closes up, but Kimberly reaches for her hand and grasps it tightly, letting Trini lead her away from the campfire and towards the cliff edge, rolling her eyes at the loud cheers from Jason and Billy and the hollering from Zack.

They walk underneath the night sky, stealing shy glances at each other like they did all that time ago at the party, except this time they allow themselves to smile and pull at their hands, until they're sprinting across the ground, the light of the fire fading away to the twinkle of the stars above them. Trini eventually decides on a spot not too far way from where Kimberly had dragged her over the edge all those years ago, and she chuckles softly at the irony of it.

How she's still falling even now.

She pulls her down to sit next to her, then doesn't check to see her response before she nervously looks away and at the stars instead, but even they seem dull in comparison to the girl next to her.

Kimberly clears her throat and places her hand over Trini’s thigh. “Are you going to kiss me or just stare into space?”

Trini turns her head back towards her and bites her lip. “Is it weird I'm nervous?”

“I'm fucking terrified.” Kimberly laughs and the parallel to years ago, to their first kiss, isn't missed by either of them.

But she leans in, and kisses her.

She pushes softly against her lips, but immediately desires _more_ , the burning flames inside of her igniting for the first time in over two years and she moans loudly. This is _everything_. The emotion swells in her chest and she's about to stop the kiss before she breaks down, but she feels wet tears on her cheeks already and instantly she realises Kimberly is crying, and so she gently cups the back of her neck with one hand, wrapping her fingers in her hair, resting her other hand on her hip, and kisses her with everything she has.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” The universe isn't keeping them apart, but fixing them back together again. They're no longer supernova, but they've found their equilibrium.

This is how it is always meant to be.

After all, always is far better than almost.

 

 

 _maybe we just weren't right, but that's a lie, that's a lie / and we can deny it as much as we want / but in time our feelings will show / cause sooner or later we'll wonder why we gave up / the truth is everyone knows / almost, almost is never enough_ **ariana grande – almost is never enough**

**Author's Note:**

> follow me @ palmsdreams.tumblr.com if u want to
> 
> also im lazy and stole some scenes from my pride prompts collection i mean i changed the wording a bit but if u still recognise it thats where its from. this is also why i had to stop writing those too bc well... you've all seen how long this got


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